Resource  |  For Parents

6 Tips for Teaching Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation — the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one's feelings — is one of the most valuable life skills we can give a child. Yet it doesn't develop on its own; it needs to be taught, modeled, and practiced. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, you play a central role in helping children build the emotional toolkit they need to navigate life's challenges with confidence and resilience. These six research-informed tips offer practical, everyday strategies to guide kids toward greater self-awareness and emotional balance.

Name It to Tame It

Kids can’t manage feelings they can’t identify. Naming feelings reduces intensity and increases awareness.

  • “It sounds like you’re frustrated.”
  • “Your shoulders are tense — are you feeling nervous?”
  • “I see a big feeling coming. Let’s slow down together.”

Model Healthy Emotional Management

Kids learn emotional regulation by watching you use it in real time. Let them see you regulate:

  • “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a breath.”
  • “I’m frustrated, but I can handle it.”
  • “I need a minute — I’ll come right back.”

Create a Calm-Down Toolbox

Give kids easy, accessible tools when emotions rise. Ideas for a calm-down kit:

  • Stress balls or fidgets
  • Coloring or drawing Items
  • Bubbles (for slow breathing)
  • Weighted blanket
  • Scented lotion
  • “I Need a Break” card

Teach Breathing and Grounding Skills

Use these breathing techniques to calm kid’s nervous systems down:

  • Square Breathing: Trace a square in for 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4.
  • Smell the Flower (breath in through nose), Blow the Candle (exhale through mouth)
  • 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding: Name 5 things you see… etc.

Practice Regulation When They’re Calm

Kids can’t learn new skills in the middle of a meltdown. Teach skills during low-stress moments:

  • Role-play “what to do when you feel upset”
  • Draw a “feelings thermometer”
  • Practice breathing before bed
  • Create a plan for overwhelming moments

Break Big Feelings into Manageable Steps

Emotional regulation is about tolerating, not eliminating, discomfort. Prompt them with:

  • “What’s one small thing you can do right now?”
  • “Is your feeling getting bigger, smaller, or staying the same?”
  • “Let’s take this one step at a time.”